Wednesday, January 21, 2009

I'm too exhausting to be loved

While transferring my posts from live journal back to blogger I have discovered something.

My posts are horrible.

The overwhelming theme is grief and depression. And yes, with the passing of my mom it is to be expected but who wants to read about it?

Ugh, are you people masochists or what? And when I say "you people" I mean the three of you that read me.

I have another blog where I also throw up my feelings. It’s hidden away and by invite only. I'm thinking that perhaps in the future if I have a post that implies I might be ready to stick my head in the oven then it might be a good idea to put it in the other blog.

Not that I am limiting what I write about based on what I think readers want, but really do the three of you need to see another post where the first tag is 'crying'. I think not.

And I will still blog about my battle with grief, anger, and what has been termed "situational depression." It’s just the whiny shit that should be locked away.

Can someone please explain to me why Beaver does his math homework but doesn't turn it in? He has an F in math due to missing homework assignments. He does them, I check them, and somewhere between that point and the next morning. Abracadabra! It’s enough to make me want to pray.

I had dropped my classes this semester in hopes that I would get that job. However they were supposed to make their decision last week and I haven’t heard from them. Just a bit frustrating because they did ask me to tell them if I took another position. Do ya think they could return the favor? You know just a short call to say sorry you suck, you"re not who we are looking for?

Then I realized that now I’ve dropped two semesters in a row and that doesn’t look good so I went to the school website and searched under every subject to find classes that I could take online and that didn’t start until the 15 week mark or the 2nd 9 week mark. I didn’t care if it was a zoology class I was going to take it.

This is what I ended up with:

Organizational Communication (helps you organize your thoughts so that you can write better. I love writing research papers, kind of, and I’ve already started on the one I’ll be doing for this class)

Business Communications – so I can learn to say suck it more nicely

Legal Environment of Business – so I can politely explain to my boss that it is ILLEGAL to give out account information without the patient’s permission

How to Start A Home Based Business – really, how can you not want to take a class in which the textbook is called “Getting Rich In Your Underwear.” Now is wearing underwear required? Because this could be a problem.

Actually the organizational communication class is on campus, but other than that all online. Every class but the underwear class is eligible for transfer. So at least I’m taking classes that I can learn something from but I’m still carrying 10.5 units which means Sallie Mae won’t be knocking on my door to pay my student loans.

Last night hubby came home with some pictures of me that he had at work. I was like, “so, you don’t want my pictures in your office,” and he was like “I want updated pictures.” Of course he does “so, you don’t want FAT pictures of me anymore,” “no” he said, “just current ones.” Uh huh, I see where this is going. Current – not so fat, old pictures – FAT.

Title brought to you courtesy of Alanis Morissette "Tapes"

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