When my mom died I never cursed God. I didn't get angry at God, blame God, shake my fist at him....none of those things, even though everything I've read told me it was perfectly normal.
Until today. As I was walking into the psych office (and don't miss the irony here) my father called, crying, to tell me my mom's cat HoneyBear died.
Honeybear was my mom's baby. A very spoiled Persian cat. My mom LOVED cats. Cat knickknacks everywhere. When you called my mom and dad's house the answering machine stated, "you've reached Al, Sharon, and Honeybear."
For some reason...this news kicked off the blame game.
On the way home from the psych appt (all fifteen minutes of it because I got called back to work and don't miss the irony here again that my stress level is off the charts and I have to leave the psych appt) I raged against God. Wasn't it enough that you took my mom? You had to take her cat too? What the hell????????!!!!!!
I continued along those lines for awhile, sobbing while heading up the 710, hoping I could pull it together before I got back to work.
When I got home there was a letter waiting for me. Apparently my father feels that he needs to explain, in writing, why he wants to date. It's at least four pages and I'm not interested in reading it at all. I'm really not sure I will. But I definitely can't read it tonight.
There's so many other things going on but I can't even get into it right now. I would really like to go to sleep and wake up when all of this is over.
I don't see that happening.
Showing posts with label sleep. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sleep. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
It's only Tuesday but feels like Thursday lord help me. I've been so busy trying to catch up with OA shit, and homework, and the parent committee for Einstein's academic program.
Brief moment for me to scream and pull my hair out.
Had to go pick up my research paper today to see what the instructor feels needs correcting. Lordy, there were lots of red marks on that paper,, but I got 30/35 which really isn't bad for someone who hasn't done a research paper in years.
Tonight I went to an event for the OA's where we had out local chamber president speak. I seriously can't stand the guy for so many reasons. Just let me say that thank GOD the last two president's have been men because that's the only way we get any play with the big boys.
Einstein is getting closer to getting his driver's permit. I found out that the driving school wants him to use MY car for his behind the wheel training. That would be my 2004 beautiful silver Chrysler Concorde. Einstein does have his own car, a used buick, but that is still up north at his dad's house. The insurance company says that while Einstein has his permit there is no extra charge on my insurance although he will be a covered driver. The big insurance bill will happen once he gets his license. I feel like a horible mom but the thought of sitting in the passenger seat while EInstein is driving scares me to death. He's a great kid, he's responsible, got it to gether, there is no reason for me to distrust him. But I'm still worried.
In some good news I finally got a full night's sleep last night. FIrst time in days. I had almost begun to give up.
Speaking of sleep, I can barely keep my eyes open, I'm outta here.
Brief moment for me to scream and pull my hair out.
Had to go pick up my research paper today to see what the instructor feels needs correcting. Lordy, there were lots of red marks on that paper,, but I got 30/35 which really isn't bad for someone who hasn't done a research paper in years.
Tonight I went to an event for the OA's where we had out local chamber president speak. I seriously can't stand the guy for so many reasons. Just let me say that thank GOD the last two president's have been men because that's the only way we get any play with the big boys.
Einstein is getting closer to getting his driver's permit. I found out that the driving school wants him to use MY car for his behind the wheel training. That would be my 2004 beautiful silver Chrysler Concorde. Einstein does have his own car, a used buick, but that is still up north at his dad's house. The insurance company says that while Einstein has his permit there is no extra charge on my insurance although he will be a covered driver. The big insurance bill will happen once he gets his license. I feel like a horible mom but the thought of sitting in the passenger seat while EInstein is driving scares me to death. He's a great kid, he's responsible, got it to gether, there is no reason for me to distrust him. But I'm still worried.
In some good news I finally got a full night's sleep last night. FIrst time in days. I had almost begun to give up.
Speaking of sleep, I can barely keep my eyes open, I'm outta here.
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