Felt so much better after my last post.

Now if I could just rid myself of this head cold. It's seriously kicking my ass. Missed kickboxing and sparring this morning because the thought of getting hit in my head just was too much. Since right now it feels THIS BIG.

Besides, I miss sparring.....believe it or not. My trainer doesn't believe it because I haven't had time to drag my sorry ass in on Saturday morning. If I can manage to breathe through my nose tomorrow morning I plan to be there.

Another reason I need to go is that old saying "feed a cold...." because I appear to have taken that quite literally. Seriously, I can't get enough to eat. It's the oddest thing. On the plus side my shoulder is coming along nicely. It's still sore and hurts but more often when I don't work out which is a good sign.

Thanks to feeling so miserable I haven't gotten anything done today that I planned to do. But, tonight is our girlfriend dinner and I"ll be damned if I miss that. Sis-in-law is headed here at four so we can go over together so I have until then to feel halfway normal.

Tomorrow the family is hoping to see Sherlock Holmes as long as I don't sneeze my way through the movie.

No train of thought here

So, I'm in a ridiculously good mood. I'm not sure why. Perhaps it's exhaustion. I've hardly slept all week and I'm hoping to crash tonight. Otherwise tomorrow's sparring session will be brutal.

Well, I know a little bit about why I'm in a good mood but not going to share it here. Just not ready and I'm not sure this is the place. Even though it's my blog. HAHA.

This seems like the longest week ever. Probably the lack of sleep. It just dragged and dragged. And it's month end which means a ton more work to do which is why I brought some home. But not tonight. Took a Soma earlier and I'm hoping to be unconscious soon.

Work is definitely getting better. There is still a lot to get done but I don't feel as overwhelmed as I use to. We've taken care of a lot of problems and even though we still have a lot of work to do I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I remember just a couple of months ago thinking I couldn't survive this but here I am.

All I can say is thank God for psychotherapy and kickboxing!!

I'm not sure I've mentioned it but my kids have been gone for the summer and can I tell you how much I miss them!!!! OMG, like crazy. Einstein will be here in a couple of weeks for to pick up his school schedule but then he goes back up north until September 5th. Hubby and I had better get our partying done, now.

This week I discovered blip.fm. How fun to discover all kinds of different music. How expensive as I find myself purchasing said music all week. I can't help it, music just moves me. Corny, I know but I think it's because verbally I suck at expressing myself and sometimes songs just say what I can't.

Next week should be interesting. My front office person is taking a much needed vacation which leaves the new employee who isn't working out so well. He's very sweet and very polite but just doesn't seem to have the ability to multi-task. How many times can you put a person on hold and keep asking them questions? I am trying to be patient but if he doesn't step up next week I'm not sure he's going to last. That is not the fun part of my job.

I'm really not sure what the fun part is yet.

These Wounds are Self Inflicted

I haven't posted in...forever. Well except for my rant yesterday but I just had to get that off my chest.

I always make the mistake of posting after I've caught up on reading the fifty gazillion blogs I follow. All blogs written by amazing witty women...and then I feel so completely inadequate. But, I persist. If only to get shit out of my head, which sometimes makes me feel better. A big goal of mine is to blog consistently, it's just tough. I'm one of those people who THRIVE on routine. Call it boring, but doing the same thing every day at the same time, I LOVE IT. Spontaneity is not one of my strong suits. Lately though, it's been hard to maintain some type of schedule. Things keep coming up that mess up my carefully orchestrated blackberry induced schedule. It really drives me nuts. I'm hoping that during the three day weekend (one day of which is already gone) I can catch up on some stuff and actually work ahead in school so that I can handle life's little surprises better.

In the meantime, here's the scoop:

VDay: I hope everyone had a nice one. I know that many of you are totally anti VDay and I feel your pain. I'm a complete unromantic. However, hubby is not. He made plans to see this, the Hooray for Hollywood show, or as I like to call it the Horror of Hollywood show because it was the WORST DINNER THEATER EVER. The only good thing about it was the food, which was shocking because I was totally expecting rubber chicken. It was so bad, campy bad. Hubby felt bad but it wasn't as if we had a horrible time, so the night wasn't a bomb. I decided to go with the anti -valentine look and didn't dress all romantic. Leopard print slinky dress, fishnets, bright red patent leather heels, and kick ass jewelry. My charm bracelet had red hearts, daggers, guns, and meat cleavers. I'm just romantic about weapons. Hubby also sent me a pajama gram which was sweet and took my mom's watch in to have it cleaned up. All in all, it was a nice day.

Notice the black nails and the blood on the dagger, hehehe.

Beav: Beav and Einstein left to see their dad on Friday night. I received a text from him after we said goodbye letting me know that he had raised all his grades and no longer had any D's or F's. This is a very big deal and I'm so proud of him. You know what, I need to tell him that. Hold on, I'm going to text him right now. Ok, done. He has been working very hard and I've been nagging him like crazy. I just hope that he keeps it up.

Work: If anyone read my twitters Friday they could tell work was not going well. My boss held an employee staff meeting on Thursday afternoons. I don't work Thursday afternoons so never mind that she should have discussed things with me privately. I get to work Friday morning to find out everyone is getting their hours cut. I have to wait two hours for her to get there because she doesn't come in until 10am. She wouldn't even look at me directly when I asked her about it. This is basically how the conversation went:

Me - "Um, so what happened yesterday because I'm hearing all kinds of crazy stuff"

Peg Bundy (because seriously this woman so ways too much wrinkly cleavage) - "Well, with the issues we're having having with Medicare we need to make some cuts, but just temporary. Everyone has been asked to work four hours less a week."

Me - "I already only work part time and now you want me to give up four more hours a week?"

Peg Bundy-"Well, you work about 64 hours a pay period so if you could do 60, that would be good, just come in an hour late or leave an hour early every day (I love how she makes it sound like she's doing me a favor. Also, if I do that then I'm giving up four hours a week, not four hours a payday. Friday's don't count, those are four hour days anyway).

Me - "Yeah, I don't think I can do that."

Peg Bundy- "Well, if you could just try."

TRY? Try to make less when I have a kid in private school. And yes, I know that's a choice, but it's the right choice for Beav.

So, I'm outta there. Which sucks because it's hard to find good paying part time jobs in my profession. And the full time jobs aren't paying what I make, but I'll still make more money if I go full time somewhere else. So, I won't be able to go to school and I will have to work full time. None of this good. I'm really trying to stay positive but it's tough.

Kickboxing - This is my last free Sunday until my fight. Starting next weekend I spar on Saturdays and Sundays to better prepare myself for an ass kicking (not sure whose ass, mine or someone elses). The upside of this is that I will be better prepared and it also will really speed up my weight loss and toning. Sparring burns up to about 3000 calories. The downside is that I'm so wiped out after Saturday sparring and it normally takes me until Monday to feel all normal again. Now I won't have any down time. However it is super necessary and I'm ready for the challenge. I have noticed a huge improvement in my confidence and skills. Other's have noticed it too and commented on it, so that's really nice. Just a few months ago I never thought I'd feel the way I feel now. Don't get me wrong, I still have a LONG ways to go. I can't seem to block a round kick to my head for the life of me which is why I'm an inside fighter. I'm often shorter than most of the people I spar with so my range is less than theirs. I like to stay inside. I have found that a lot of people are uncomfortable with that and just shut down as soon as you do that. Some get mad and I've been knocked around a bit, but it's my style and there's nothing wrong with it. Yesterday I got in a great cross to someone's jaw and OMG it felt so good. I think he was surprised also and gave me props for it. Of course he paid me back with a knee to my stomach so that wasn't fun, but alls well that ends well.

School - So I took the easy route this semester to get myself back into the swing of things. Mostly business classes, almost all online. I started two last week and two more start in March. My business communications professor is completely whack. How can you be a department chair of a business department and be so completely disorganized? Seriously. Plus, in every online class I've ever taken my tests have been online. Normally timed, to prevent massive cheating. Nope, in her class it's scantron and I have to have the tests there by noon on the due date, which is twice a week. The main reason people take online classes is because they work during the day. HELLO??? So, the only other option is to mail the tests. However to be sure they get there in time I need to mail them super early which means I'm going to have to work ahead. I'm already so frustrated by the whole process.

BTW..do you know blogger doesn't recognize the word scantron? Sigh.

I know there was a Saturday in there somewhere.

Did a weekend happen? Because I'm pretty sure I missed it.

Saturday I had three hours of kickboxing. One hour of class and then two straight hours of sparring. Two hours of full contact. I haven't been full contact since I broke my foot..well except for that day where I tried to snap my calf in two but you know how that went.

I am literally covered in bruises from my stomach down. The one on my stomach is the worse. It's big and purple and very angry looking. Hubby asked if I was sure something wasn't broken it looked that bad. I got kicked in the crotch, which has never happened before and there is a bit of purpling there. Add a huge one on my left thigh, a nasty one above the knee, about four on the inside of my thigh and then my right leg is peppered with small ones from the kneecap down.

It's beautiful. My trainer told me though that I gave as good as I got and that made me feel a lot better. It's not how I look, it's how the other guy looks, lol. Nevermind that I spent most of Sunday wearing an icyhot patch on my back.

My dad arrived Saturday evening and we spent all day Sunday out. We headed off to the Simi Valley to go to the Reagan Presidential Library. I really love this museum and never get tired of going there. I was especially excited because they are displaying the Magna Carta and how many times in your life do you get to see that? I love that my boys love history and get a kick out of it. We took the long way back via Ventura (stopped and did a little shopping, shocking I know), headed up Highway 1 and returned to Long Beach for a great lobster dinner at Gladstones.

It was a really great day and I was amazed that we were home by 8. I was exhausted so I decided to not take a sleeping pill. I regretted this decision as I lay there wide awake until about 1:30 in the morning. I belive I got a total of 3.5 hours of sleep. I really wish I could just switch of my mind because it was going a million miles a minute last night. I HATE THAT. I do have an appointment with a psychiatrist on Wednesday who will hopefully give me some sleeping meds that can help me in the short term without becoming addictive.

I was so not myself that I ended up posting here a lot more information than I intended to and if you didn't get a chance to read it, it's gone now I have a private blog for that sort of crap.

It didn't help that today w e n t s u p e r s l o w. Ugh.

If you read my tweets, then you know that I am a horrible Ebay addiction. It's mostly vintage hats and workout gear. The other day I emailed a seller that I had paid on January 13th. No email letting me know that the item had been shipped and worse than that..no item. On the item page it reads "I SHIP FROM THE STATES ONCE A WEEK. I DRIVE DOWN FROM CANADA. It is cheaper than from Canada. This is for US and Canadian customers. Please when leaving feedback, do not mark shipping as slow. This will effect my selling ability and it isn't slow if you are aware of my shipping practice" Ok. So now it's the 26th, which is almost two weeks since I paid for the item. I ask if it's been shipped. This is the response I get "Hi there, I am so sorry. I don't know why your parcel got missed on my last trip to the States. As per item description I ship weekly. I have a home service for women in treatment and so I had someone helping me that turned out to be not so helpful. I am going back down tomorrow and will send it. Please, I ask you to not mark the shipping as slow. This will effect my selling ability. Sorry again, I drive to the States to save my customers money and it seems to be biting me in the butt. "

I would like to point out that by the seller's own admission my item was not shipped. My item was missed. Then she asks me to lie. I shouldn't mark the item as slow because this could hurt her. So I respond with a comment that what if I hadn't emailed her. I remind her that this item is late because of a mistake. Not because of her own unique shipping policy. And this is the nice response I get "I emailed everyone today to let them know of my shipping plans. As per item description I ship weekly anyways to save my customers money. I drive down to the States. Do what you have to. "

Isn't that sweet. She admits she forgot my item (yes I know I said it before but humor me) then gets upset when I seem to have an issue with this. So I kindly responded that she could refund me my money, including shipping, and then I wouldn't leave negative feedback and I would never buy from her again. Win, win.

Still waiting for a response.

My father is laughing at the entire exchange.

And I really wanted the hat.

Watch It Wiggle

Friday night was our dojo's semi-annual "fight night." This was the night I was supposed to fight before I dropped out. I still went to support my friends that were fighting. Every fight night is done for a charity and this one was for a bone marrow registry. I am now a registered bone marrow possible donor. My trainer's brother works for BMW and they donated this as a raffle prize. Yeah, you read it right, it RETAILS for at least $1000 and I won it. And I don't know what to do with it. I'm inclined to sell it but I feel guilty for considering it.

I have a bicycle. It’s a nice beach cruiser. I, in no way, can do the new bike justice. I hardly have time to ride the bike I have. So for now it's just sitting in my dining room because I don't have a garage and I don't think it's safe in the backyard.After fight night the Dojo restarts sparring. That is, they take it all the way down back to basics. So, I’ve started again. I was listening to our trainer talk about how the class changes how you work out, steps up your game, etc..and I realized something. Remember this?

I started to gain my weight back when I stopped sparring. It was as if a light bulb went off over my head. I’m excited to be back although today I’m sore, but it’s so worth it. I’m hoping to fight at our next fight night in May however I’m not throwing my name in for a little while. I still feel back about backing out of this fight, although I had a very good reason.

As of right now I have a vision of me…less jiggle, more muscle.