Monday, September 29, 2008

I promise not to miss you now

I have an announcement. Tonight my husband made dinner and IT WAS GOOD. Ok, it was cheating a bit, cuz I took him here and helped him prep some meals, but still. IT WAS GOOD AND I DIDN’T HAVE TO COOK IT.

Saturday, I headed off to my sex toy party, optimistic that I would make all kinds of sales to help bolster my checking account. Unknown to me, this party was in East Los Angeles. Apparently when you mapquest addresses, it doesn’t identify that you’re headed straight to the ghetto. And before you think I’m some sort of spoiled white suburban pussy…have you been to East Los Angeles? I stick out like nobody’s business. However I arrive safely and can’t find the house. You know how some houses have back houses? Well, apparently this house had like two back houses and her house was the third one. I was able to locate it once I could find someone who spoke English and tell me where it was.

The hostess had told her guests that the party was going to start at 6pm. She was anticipating that everyone would be late so she had me arrive at 7:30, which I did, and realized that there were no guests. None. Zip. And then she tells me she has a stripper coming at 10. We have a very strict policy regarding strippers. We simply require a deposit of $100. If they’re party sells a certain amount they get their $100 back. The reason for this is that because once the man starts ripping off his clothes we often become more of the entertainment and those women spend all their dollars on the nasty, sweaty man in front of them. Hostess tells me she doesn’t have the deposit. My boss tells me to leave. So, I start packing up all my shit and the hostess keeps apologizing that her friends are losers and not showing up and she STARTS CRYING. I keep reassuring her it’s no big deal, she keeps apologizing saying how bad she feels I drove out here for nothing, yada, yada, yada. Finally I look at her and say “look, this is really not worth getting upset over, it’s not that important.” Seriously, get some perspective.

Anyways I ended up driving home, looking really good btw, and not making a damn cent. I hate this economy.

Last, but not least, I have apologized to my husband for behaving like such a miserable bitch. He apologized for being, well, a man. Things are back to normal in the diva household. Just the way I like it.

I almost forgot. Today, I contacted my former employer and asked if I could come back. They have no openings, which sucks. I miss being there for a few reasons. Mostly I miss the great hours. And there is a lot of petty bullshit that goes on in my small office which drives me crazy. I mean there’s shit everywhere but these women act like they’re in high school. But I suppose for now I’ll have to stick it out. I probably just notice it more because I’m there full time. Only two more months until I go back to school full time.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Pack up the babies and grab the old ladies

Wow, a week has gone by. I'd love to say it's been a glorious week, but it hasn't. It's been a very shitty week. Hubby and I have spent the last few days fighting and to be honest we rarely fight so it's been really difficult. The whole "me going back to work full time and husband taking care of dinner" hasn't been working at all. He just can't seem to get accustomed to the new schedule which drive me NUTS because I’m the schedule queen. If my crackberry ever died I’d have to kill myself go nuts. In my brain I understand that he sucks at schedules and remembering details and shit like that but it still makes me really angry. Because I sat down with my family and again with just him and discussed our new schedules and how things would change and when I’d be home and when I’d be training, etc. And when he “forgets” it just tells me that he doesn’t listen to me.

Ok, now I sound like a nagging wife. I know.

So that and just general depression from this whole stupid grief thing has just been kicking my ass. I’ve ate so much junk food over the past week that I’m embarrassed. As a rule, I eat very healthy during the week. I’m not a calorie counter, as much as I do write down what I eat and stick with healthy items. Sunday is my free day and even then I don’t go hog wild. But the last week….hot wings, pizza, chocolate cake, cookies, munchos, and I even bought, but haven’t ate, ZINGERS. Vanilla zingers are a HUGE weakness for me.

Wait, stop for a minute. Einstein just came home from school. He is doing something “raiders” for JRROTC. Three days a week he has to carry 30lbs in his backpack and then he spends an hour doing all types of physical activity that apparently he can’t tell me about. Apparently it’s some sort of military secret and he has to shoot me or something. But OMG you should see the blisters on his hands, my poor baby. He said three people quit after today. Now I want to know what he has to do. I might have to go on some commando mission. And when I say commando, I mean secretly watching, not going without my underwear you perverts.

Ok, back to Zingers. I don’t have a sweet tooth as a norm but I can’t resist zingers.

Great, now I’m talking about food. And I feel like barfing after seeing the blisters on my baby’s hands. The blisters that he is now picking rocks out of….but then I spend Saturday mornings getting the crap beaten out of me so I suppose I shouldn’t talk.

The husband is currently taunting me with the possibility of seeing Neil Diamond live. Yeah, that’s right I totally have the hots for Neil Diamond, go ahead mock me.

I’m working tomorrow night. Wish me luck. Hopefully I sell a lot of sex toys. LOTS!

Comments below transferred from Livejournal.

myfni wrote:
Sep. 27th, 2008 07:28 am (UTC)
I love neil diamond. And you can forget about your husband remembering ANYTHING. It's not in the male DNA and we're just supposed to accept it or something. Like it's a genetic flaw, oh well--just accept it. Men get away with so much. Lucky for us, we get to be genetically inclined once a month to be a bitch and oh well, they JUST HAVE TO LIVE WITH IT.
Reply Thread Delete Screen Freeze Track This Select: wrote:
Sep. 28th, 2008 11:17 pm (UTC)
If you hadn't had such a crappy week, I would totally pick on you about Neil Diamond. I dunno....maybe it's because my mom was so into him that I just ...can't.I'm really hungry for junk food now.Thanks!