Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Where is a parachute when you need one?

Yes, it's been ages since I updated. I've been a bad blogger. Is there a bad blogger jail? I've been busy, but I'm not sure with what.

I do work out a lot, but since I dropped school you would think I would have more time on my hands. However, whatever free time I have just gets sucked up by something else. Lately that something is Beav.

Beav, my "special" child. The child that can give me the biggest smile and the biggest heartache. Last week he pushed every button I have and then some. Unfortunately he also pushed all the buttons of his history teacher who responded by calling my hubby. Sometimes Beav's ADHD is just too much. Emotionally I'm already pulled so tight that his "antics," for lack of a better world, just push me over the edge. And last week I went over the edge and flying off the cliff. I really felt like I was done and wanted to send Beav to live with his dad. Deep down I know this is not the best place for him. Or is it?

I don't know. But the thought of sending my baby away was so painful. But I just felt like I had nothing left to handle things. I did agree that I would give it a couple days of thought, and I did. And he is staying, but I kind of let him have it. And then we met with the principal, his history teacher and the head teacher and we kind of let him have it again, but in a supportive way. It was nice to hear the teachers tell him that he was indeed a bright kid. I think he needed to hear it. And you know what, he is bright.

If this kid tried even just a little bit, he would have all A's and B's. That isn't even giving it 110 percent. That's just what he can achieve if he gets his shit together. I'm hoping that he finally got the message.

Other than that, it's all quiet here one the homefront. I'm dealing with an issue that I can't share here, but I've got to work it out. It's on my mind way too much and I need to either let it go or accept it's there. Geez, can I be any more vague?


Ann said...

Hi Tamara,
I just had to visit you from Mom Blogger Club.
I hope things get better soon.

Shonda Little said...

I found you from WMDA and I am glad I did. I love your blog. I will be back.