Wednesday, March 11, 2009

RIP Honeybear

When my mom died I never cursed God. I didn't get angry at God, blame God, shake my fist at him....none of those things, even though everything I've read told me it was perfectly normal.

Until today. As I was walking into the psych office (and don't miss the irony here) my father called, crying, to tell me my mom's cat HoneyBear died.

Honeybear was my mom's baby. A very spoiled Persian cat. My mom LOVED cats. Cat knickknacks everywhere. When you called my mom and dad's house the answering machine stated, "you've reached Al, Sharon, and Honeybear."

For some reason...this news kicked off the blame game.

On the way home from the psych appt (all fifteen minutes of it because I got called back to work and don't miss the irony here again that my stress level is off the charts and I have to leave the psych appt) I raged against God. Wasn't it enough that you took my mom? You had to take her cat too? What the hell????????!!!!!!

I continued along those lines for awhile, sobbing while heading up the 710, hoping I could pull it together before I got back to work.

When I got home there was a letter waiting for me. Apparently my father feels that he needs to explain, in writing, why he wants to date. It's at least four pages and I'm not interested in reading it at all. I'm really not sure I will. But I definitely can't read it tonight.

There's so many other things going on but I can't even get into it right now. I would really like to go to sleep and wake up when all of this is over.

I don't see that happening.


Anonymous said...

oh,hun...I'm so very sorry :( *hugs*

Gabe Miranda said...

Sorry u had such a bad day. It's ok for your dad to date - not that my two cents is worth anything or would make you less angry. Your dad sounds like a decent guy, he has a lot to deal with especially trying to fill the emptiness in his heart. It's hard for us as adult children to think of our parents with anyone else - we're extremely jealous of their time. Just because he's not outwardly showing affection for your mother, inside he can never forget the love he had for her... that will always remain special. Jan 31 of this year would have been my parents 50th anniversary, my mom passed away 14 years ago. My dad is happy living out the rest of his life with his new wife.. and I approve.

aka Kidgman