Sunday, October 11, 2009

Finding my way back...the hard way

If you've been following me on twitter and really who doesn't (insert eye roll here) you should know I had shoulder surgery last Monday. More specifically arthroscopic surgery for a bone spur.

I'm not a wimpy girl. I did get this injury from kickboxing. During the past year I've suffered a broken foot and a cracked rib. I consider myself pretty tough. So when the doctor warned me that this surgery is particularly painful afterwards I figured he was exaggerating a bit...or he just didn't understand how tough I am. I had planned to be back at kickboxing tomorrow..a week post surgery.

In fact after the surgery I was feeling not bad at all and surprised that it didn't hurt that much. I wasn't taking into account that the doctor injects anesthetic into the surgical site when he closes it up.

Boy was I wrong. This shit HURTS. Almost a week later and I still can't lift my left arm above my chest. The pain is constant and the only reprieve is the hour that I'm hooked up to the cold compression therapy machine (I'm sure there's a shorter name for it, but whatever). I am supposed to sit with this machine seven times a day. That means I'm supposed to sit idle for seven hours a day. I have no idea how to do that.

I have been given Vicodin to help with the pain but it makes me itch and I start to resemble a crack addict scratching at herself. I stopped taking it but gave in again when the pain became unbearable. I halved the dose and that seems to help. For those of you who are worried about addiction possibility, I'm taking two Vicodin A DAY so I think I'm ok. I don't take it at night because I am one of the people that Vicodin keeps awake. Yep, no drowsy here. About two hours after I take the pill I'm very much awake which is why on Monday night I didn't fall asleep until 3am. Seriously, had I not just had surgery I could have gotten up and made an entire Thanksgiving meal, that's how alert I was.

I'm not even going to talk about the mounds of work I brought home with me thinking I was going to get everything done this week. I've hardly touched it.

On the plus side I was able to catch up on a lot of reading and Dexter.

On the down side when I'm bored, I eat. Sitting around, eating and not being able to work out - I feel like the Pillsbury doughboy.

I guess I thought the doc would go in there, fix the problem and I'd feel all better. I didn't realize that there would be a time delay for the "feel all better" part.

Hopefully this will make my left cross stronger than ever.

And it does help with my priorities. I've neglected a lot of things I do for me - reading, blogging, reading blogs, etc, because of work. The truth is I'll never be caught up. I can only do what I can do and beating myself up about it doesn't help at all.

And I'm going to do a vision board. A visual reminder of my goals, dreams, and aspirations.

Because somewhere along the way I lost my way.

1 comment:

Nilliem said...

Speaking as someone who also has a high pain tolerance, I hear you! My mom (also fairly pain tolerant) had surgery to repair her shoulder (a 20 year-old injury) and the pain was excruciating for her. She has to do the other shoulder and is so NOT looking forward to that.

Do not let yourself freak out. You are not doing surgery; no one dies if you don't do the paperwork. Its ok, I promise. I like the idea of the board. A map always helps me when I get lost!