Drunk on Turkey

Sometimes time away from home helps me to recharge. I'm not sure that his trip did that. Spending four days with my sister and nine children pretty much has worn me out, lol. Seriously, I'm not sure how on earth she does it. The noise level alone is nuts.

But I did miss my husband. A lot. But mostly I just missed my routine. I love the routine of my life. Is that horrible? Does that make me a cliche? Not to mention all I can think about is how much work is sitting at my desk waiting for me to return. (I'm totally trying not to let it get to me because I know I do deserve a life.)

I miss working out every day and feel like a total sloth since I've been eating crap since I got here. So...starting tomorrow it's back to the grind. The grind of work and the grind of training...although picking up kids all week has caused my shoulder to protest painfully today.

Apparently my dad was also up here this weekend. Apparently he's told my siblings that he's very angry with me for not being at his wedding. Apparently he can't pick up the phone and have this conversation with me. Yes, I could call him, but I've decided not to. I know it takes two and all that but the last conversation I had with him, in fact almost every conversation I have with him, he yells at me and has no regard for my feelings whatsoever. Frankly it pisses me off. I'm not sure where he got this idea that I need to go along with what he wants because he's my dad. Oh yeah, he gets that from my brothers. My brothers do it. And they pay the price for it. Both of them went to the wedding. Neither went to the reception and neither one of them has a positive thing to say about it. But I refuse to swallow the horrible feelings and go to the wedding because my father feels I should. That's just bullshit.

And trust me, I've thought about it endlessly. And I've prayed about it. I want to try to do the right thing as often as possible. And God has let me know there are things in my life that need to be addressed. However, I'm not feeling he's pushing me on this one.

I don't want to go on and on about this. What's done is done. I feel like I don't have any parents, which is weird and very painful (totally avoiding the pain right now). I never in a million years thought any of this would happen. At some point I'm going to have to process it I know. I hope there's a ton of tissue around when that happens.

I think what I need to do is get drunk. Not silly drunk, just happy drunk. Maybe on Thanksgiving?