See...I can grow

I think I'm going to have to drop my writing class which really sucks because a)I love writing (even though I suck) and b)I love arguing. But, each assignment and there are two a week takes three hours plus there is a paper due every Saturday. And I realized today that I don't want to spend my Friday night and Saturday writing a paper when I could be hanging with my family and doing the important Sam's Club shopping.

Plus I'm trying to relax more or at least give myself more attention, and it's the kind of attention that doesn't involve fighting or school books.


I recently read Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert and it really hit me in some areas because I could relate, a lot, with what she was feeling. It also made me think a lot about myself, relationships, my views on love, etc.

I have always prided myself on being a bit of a realist about relationships. There have been several times I've been told I think like a guy. I've always been really good at keeping my emotions separate, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

One thing I've always talked about is how I don't believe in soul mates. I don't believe that there is that one true person for everyone. I mean, how can that be? I've loved some amazing men and all of them have brought something to my life. All of them have been a gift in one way or another. I might not have realized that at the time, but it's true. However, in the book she brings up a point, or I should say someone else brings up a point to her.

"People think a soul mate is your perfect ft, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave."

I like that definition. Especially because there have been relationships that even though I knew it had to end it was the hardest thing to walk way from.

So, maybe I do believe in soul mates.

And I think my life is about to change.