Tuesday, January 26, 2010

E=mc who cares

It's not that I don't like school, because I do. I love school. I do hate that I've never finished college. I mean I REALLY hate it. It makes me feel really stupid.
When I decided to go back to school a couple of years ago carrying 10-12 units wasn't that big of a deal because I was only working 24 hours a week. But then a year ago everything went down at my office and I went from a 24 hour a week medical biller to a 50- 60 hour a week office manager for a six physician practice.

So this semester I decided to go back. I'm carrying ten units, although one of my classes doesn't start until March. Last week because I got sick as all heck I missed a week of my statistics class and I'm so behind it hurts. A week of statistics is like seven human years, or something like that.

And I'm tired. This is an example of what Tuesdays are like for me. I'm at work by 7:15, work until 3, drive to school. Have class until 6pm. Drive back to Long Beach. Pic up Beav, come home, eat dinner, do homework. Thursday is the same except I drive to Long Beach and go to the dojo and take the 6:30 class.

And that's another thing. It really cuts into my training time and I miss training.

It sounds like I'm whining, doesn't it? Well I'm just trying to talk myself out of feeling like a loser if I drop the statistics class. The truth is though I have to have this class so I still have to take it. I'm just frustrated knowing that it's taking forever to get this done.

But is the important thing...isn't that I'm trying to get it done?

Truth is, I'm 41 and I work really hard. I don't want to spend my entire weekends doing homework. Not when I have a family here that I want to spend time with.

Yep, I'm totally rationalizing.

And I still feel like a loser.

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