Monday, September 29, 2008

I promise not to miss you now

I have an announcement. Tonight my husband made dinner and IT WAS GOOD. Ok, it was cheating a bit, cuz I took him here and helped him prep some meals, but still. IT WAS GOOD AND I DIDN’T HAVE TO COOK IT.

Saturday, I headed off to my sex toy party, optimistic that I would make all kinds of sales to help bolster my checking account. Unknown to me, this party was in East Los Angeles. Apparently when you mapquest addresses, it doesn’t identify that you’re headed straight to the ghetto. And before you think I’m some sort of spoiled white suburban pussy…have you been to East Los Angeles? I stick out like nobody’s business. However I arrive safely and can’t find the house. You know how some houses have back houses? Well, apparently this house had like two back houses and her house was the third one. I was able to locate it once I could find someone who spoke English and tell me where it was.

The hostess had told her guests that the party was going to start at 6pm. She was anticipating that everyone would be late so she had me arrive at 7:30, which I did, and realized that there were no guests. None. Zip. And then she tells me she has a stripper coming at 10. We have a very strict policy regarding strippers. We simply require a deposit of $100. If they’re party sells a certain amount they get their $100 back. The reason for this is that because once the man starts ripping off his clothes we often become more of the entertainment and those women spend all their dollars on the nasty, sweaty man in front of them. Hostess tells me she doesn’t have the deposit. My boss tells me to leave. So, I start packing up all my shit and the hostess keeps apologizing that her friends are losers and not showing up and she STARTS CRYING. I keep reassuring her it’s no big deal, she keeps apologizing saying how bad she feels I drove out here for nothing, yada, yada, yada. Finally I look at her and say “look, this is really not worth getting upset over, it’s not that important.” Seriously, get some perspective.

Anyways I ended up driving home, looking really good btw, and not making a damn cent. I hate this economy.

Last, but not least, I have apologized to my husband for behaving like such a miserable bitch. He apologized for being, well, a man. Things are back to normal in the diva household. Just the way I like it.

I almost forgot. Today, I contacted my former employer and asked if I could come back. They have no openings, which sucks. I miss being there for a few reasons. Mostly I miss the great hours. And there is a lot of petty bullshit that goes on in my small office which drives me crazy. I mean there’s shit everywhere but these women act like they’re in high school. But I suppose for now I’ll have to stick it out. I probably just notice it more because I’m there full time. Only two more months until I go back to school full time.

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